


Pub Quiz

by pocky_slash



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bars and Pubs, Canon Disabled Character, Drinking & Talking, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 04:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1632308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/pseuds/pocky_slash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You teach genetics? So, what are the odds any of us are ever going to have crazy mutations or, like, superpowers?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pub Quiz

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to **pearl_o** for encouragement and **allthatihavemet** for being my genetics-picker, as usual ♥

"No, no, no," Charles says, and he gestures at the table with his bottle. "Hear me out. I do honestly believe that it's possible."

"People with superpowers," Moira says dryly, raising her eyebrows. "How many have you had again?"

"Not _superpowers_ ," he says. Then, after a pause. "Yes, superpowers. Adaptive mutations."

"You think one day someone's going to be born as Superman or Batman?" Nick asks.

"Not Batman," Erik says. "Batman didn't need powers. His mind and the purity of his quest for justice were his only power."

"Leave it to you to defend Batman," Charles says. He uses the hand that's not holding the beer bottle to cup Erik's cheek and pull him close enough to kiss his temple. "A brilliant mind set on revenge. I am shocked at your allegiances." Erik smirks and allows another kiss, but Moira reaches across the table and shoves his shoulder.

"Right, and I'm sure being a multi-billionaire with the ability to create a gazillion gadgets didn't help any," she says. 

"Let's get a little color up in here," Nick says. "How about Green Lantern?"

"Or Wonder Woman," Moira counters. "Superpowers aren't entirely a sausage fest."

"Yes, yes, like all of that, but not," Charles says. "Not...not aliens or people with magical artifacts. Actual powers. Defense mechanisms. We see it in the natural world, mutations that develop in plants and animals to help them survive. Like a duck's vagina!"

Erik groans and leans forward so his head is resting on the table.

"Not the fucking duck's vagina again." He lifts his head enough to take in Charles' enthusiasm and the horrified expressions from the table's other three occupants. "He would not fucking shut up about the duck's vagina in bed last night."

"It's fascinating and interesting!" Charles insists.

"I'm gay, Charles, I don't want to hear about vaginas in bed, particularly the vaginas of animals," Erik says. He adds to the rest of the table, "Consequently, talking was all that happened in bed last night."

"TMI, Lehnsherr," Moira says. 

"Isn't it duck penises that are weird?" Nick asks.

"Well, they are too," Charles says. "But while everyone is focused on how bizarre the duck penis is in such a way that makes it seem like male ducks hold all the mating power, no one talks about the duck vaginas, and how female ducks have several different mechanisms within the vagina and uterus to manipulate the duck's corkscrew penis and have final decision on whether or not to accept the duck semen to fertilize--"

"Can we please stop talking about duck sex at the bar, we're starting to get strange looks," Erik says.

"No stranger than usual," Moira mutters. "But, mutations--"

"Right!" Charles says. "So, we generally believe that mutation is random and those with advantageous mutations survive and breed with each other to the point that those without them die off. But adaptive mutation is a relatively new theory that posits almost the opposite--that organisms can develop mutations in response to their environment in order to survive. Under that school of thought, what's to say that after generations of mucking up the planet to the point that it's even more dangerous for us, our bodies won't adapt in response to our new environment?"

"So, superpowers?" Nick says. "Might come in handy in my line of work. What do you think, babe? Black leather and a cape, flying over the city, punching bad guys...."

"You don't think the black trenchcoat and eyepatch are scary enough for criminals?" Moira asks. "Super Cop. I think I saw a movie like that once."

"That's Super Detective Sergeant, thank you very fucking much," Nick says.

"Cheers," Moira says, and clinks her bottle against his. "And, I don't know if I'd want to fly or be super strong. Maybe teleport. That would be useful. Or move things with my mind."

"Moving things with your mind could be fun," Charles says. "Better than mind reading--just the thought of it makes me uncomfortable."

"Someone knowing all your secrets?" Erik asks.

"Or being forced to know everyone's around you if you can't control it," Charles says. "I can't imagine what it would be like to know all the thoughts the people I loved thought about me in the privacy of their own head." He smiles wryly. "I doubt they're all charitable."

"More than you'd think," Erik assures him. He adds, "Mostly because I have no problem telling you about all the things that piss me off right to your face."

"Back off, everyone," Charles says, rolling his eyes. "I've already laid claim to this charmer."

"What about you, Erik?" Moira asks. "Selective hearing so you can turn your brain off when Charles starts talking about duck vaginas in bed?"

Everyone laughs, and Erik purses his lips, thoughtful.

"I'd like to fly," he says. "I'd like to be able to move things with my mind. I can't see much use in teleporting or super strength. I don't know--I think that we look at our lives and what we'd like to change or be easier when we play these sort of games, but my life is fine. Wonderful, even. There are things in the past I'd like to change, but I feel like the power to heal the sick would be more trouble than it's worth."

Charles takes his hand and squeezes it.

"Your mother's cancer?" he asks.

"Or traumatic spinal injury," Erik says, and Charles goes quiet. The whole table goes quiet and stares down into their drinks, onto the tabletop, into the crowd around them, still loud and boisterous despite the sudden silence of their corner booth. Charles eventually raises Erik's hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.

"Anyway," he says, his voice catching for only a moment, "unfortunately, should the human body begin to adapt in these ways, it's many, many, many years into our future and dependent on...well, rather a lot of other things that I won't bother explaining because you wouldn't understand."

"You know," Moira says, "we do have three master's degrees and a PhD among us." She glances at Kate, sitting at the end of the other side of the booth.

"Four master's degrees and a PhD," Kate amends.

"Yes, well, I have roughly that amount of education all on my own and none of yours is in evolutionary biology and genetics, _so_ ," Charles says, waving his hand to dismiss the interruption, "the point is, it won't happen in our lifetime, outside of comic books and movies." He smiles at Kate. "I hope that answers your question."

"It does," Kate says. She smiles a little sadly.

"Genetics is a remarkable field and it teaches us so much about who we are and what makes the universe work and--"

Erik elbows Charles before he can continue.

"Ignore him," he says to Kate. "He gets like this. Ten years ago, he'd be using the same lines to hit on you."

"I'm not hitting on her!" Charles insists, wide-eyed and scandalized.

"I know, baby," Erik says. "I'm just saying."

"It's alright," Kate says. "I did ask."

"And you also bought us a round," Moira says, "which you really didn't have to do and you certainly didn't have to sit with us and listen to Charles yammer on."

"It was enlightening," Kate says. To Charles, she adds, "I'm sorry, again, about spilling on you."

"It's no problem," Charles says. "I teach. I spend a fair amount of time in a lab. I've seen worse."

"I'm gonna head out, but thanks for the talk and the company," she says. 

"Thank _you_ for the drinks," Erik says. "Really, you didn't have to, even after the spill, but we appreciate it."

"Take care," Charles says. "Maybe we'll bump into you again some day in your travels."

"I hope you do," Kate says, and stands up with a short wave, headed out of the pub.

The four of them watch her go and then just as easily slide back into familiar conversation.

"If you were a superhero cop, wouldn't that set a dangerous precedent for vigilante justice that the police department would frown upon?" Charles asks Nick.

"Depends on if I was the only one with powers," Nick says, and the discussion picks up from there, lost in the buzz of conversations and laughter inside the pub.

***

Outside the pub, Katherine Pryde closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. Another world to cross off the list. These aren't her Professor X and Magneto. They aren't even close enough for her to use them in her quest. Another strike out. Even though time is a strange, fluid concept as she jumps from reality to reality, every second that she lives away from the war-torn landscape of her own world makes her more edgy, fills her with more despair.

She takes the remote out of her bag and changes the coordinates. Time to try world number one twenty-two. Maybe she'll have more luck with the Professor X and Magneto on that world.

She spares one last glance at the pub behind her, and manages a small smile. At least, on this world, they're happy. After all they've been through on all the worlds she's seen, she thinks they deserve it.

She turns away from the pub, closes her eyes, and hits the launch button.

**Author's Note:**

> In the _Days of Future Past_ comic arc, future Kitty Pryde goes by the nickname "Kate."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [X-Why? (lor' love a duck remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2140830) by [oonaseckar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oonaseckar/pseuds/oonaseckar)




End file.
